Provision

Yesterday started out as "one of those days." You know the ones the days where things just are NOT going as you had expected. My Tuesdays are very busy. My agenda for the day was prayer group from 10-12, a quick lunch, pick up some reeds at the music store for Nick, go to Sam's Club to replace my Sam's card (lost my wallet a week ago), get groceries at Meijer, visit a woman from our church who is in the Hospice Home, then return home to make dinner and then off to another small group. Busy, busy day!

What's this? Where's my credit card?? I had it last night when the specialty pharmacy called to schedule the delivery of my new medication. I searched and searched, over and over, everywhere! How frustrating. The car is burning a million dollars in gas as it gets toasty warm and I am still searching in vain for my credit card. I have to find it! I can skip Meijer but Nick really needs the reeds and being diabetic I need some lunch and I am late, late, late for my prayer meeting.

I know, I'll get the checkbook. What??? Where is the checkbook. I just had it on Sunday. It should be on or around the computer desk but the search goes on, the car continues to burn more gas and the checkbook is not to be found!!

By now I am upset. "What a waste of a day," I say to myself. I'll be right in town and I'm going to have to come home right after prayer group for lunch and Nick will not get his reeds. I really want to visit Cynthia at the Hospice home. How frustrating! I have no choice but to leave unprepared for my day.

On my way to prayer group I begin to pray. "Lord, help me to overcome this frustration. Please do not let this be a distraction to me. I know you have called this group to prayer. Help me to put aside this frustration and make the best of it. Please order my day to Your will not mine."

My tension eased. I was able to yield to a prayerful spirit and we had a wonderful time of prayer for the churches of Jackson county. As the prayer meeting ended I remembered the pop bottles I had loaded in my car to return to Meijer. Perhaps I have enough bottles to get the reeds. I drive to Country Market and returned the bottles. As I hold the cash in my hand I remember the little money tub we keep in the car with toll booth money for our trips to Zion. I also find a few dollars that I had forgotten about in my purse. The grand total is $14.05!

Suddenly, I feel a strong sense of God's provision. "Thank you, Lord," I say right out loud. I head for the music store where I was able to buy three reeds. I stop at Sam's to get my new ID card and maybe a cheap lunch. I have $3.36 to spend. The pizza was dry and fatty. Hot dogs are a big no no. I give up and try to figure out where I can get something that won't be bad for me. I am drawn to Wendy's. Lo and behold, they have a grilled chicken wrap that fits right in to my diet. I have a lovely lunch for my money and end up with 61 cents to spare. I head for the Hospice Home.

I have been involved in visiting ministry for my church since October. God's provision for those visits is amazing. His timing was once again perfect. Cynthia was resting after a very difficult morning and I had a very lovely time talking and praying with her parents. As I returned home I felt in awe of God's total provision for the day. I was able to accomplish nearly everything on my list and I saved money by not getting the groceries. We still have plenty of food at home.

I can't help but continue to reflect on God's provision throughout my life. I haven't always had everything I wanted but He has provided everything I have needed. We have had times when we were dirt poor. God always knew when we needed food or money to pay a bill and He provided - most of the time in very unexpected ways.

Luke 12:22-28 says, " Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith!"

I eventually did find my checkbook and card. I had thrown them away with a pile of papers. Silly me!! Somehow I am glad because this unexpected frustration turned into a joyful celebration of a God who provides and cares about me. Thank you, Lord for the reminder of your provision!!

A Game of Chess

I find myself at the beginning of a new treatment plan for my cancer and have been reflecting, not only on my situation but also on the many people with cancer who have crossed my paths on this cancer journey. Some have done well and are now proclaimed cancer free, if such a bold proclamation can be trusted. Others are struggling. One is in her last days. Several others are near the end of their treatment options. I myself am standing at the brink of a new treatment plan. As soon as we can get the drugs approved through insurance and delivered to my home I will be plunging back into the world of side effect management and low blood counts.

Chess ... why does my mind keep going toward that game? For some strange reason, I have come to equate managing stage IV cancer with a chess match. It's a game of strategy. My kids will tell you that I am not a very good chess player. I know how each of the different pieces move and I can play the game but I lack in the strategy department. "You have to think several moves ahead," my son tells me. Fortunately, in the chess game of life I have a great strategist. Her name is Dr. Thompson. She gives great thought to each move. Her mind is totally focused on the game and she is not limited by the most obvious moves. She was taught to "think out of the box" and so she does. Some of her moves are pure genius.

The whole idea of chess is to protect and defend your king. When the king is captured and there is no escape then it's "game over." I know several people in check right now. Their strategists are running out of moves. The possibility of check mate is very close. One of my internet friends is in check mate. Any day now I will get that Care Page notification that her king has left the board to meet the real King Jesus. This is the reality of cancer.

I enter this next move, this new phase of treatment, with gratitude to my strategist, with prayer to my maker, and with love for others going through this cancer journey. I may lose a few pawns in the process but it is my hope that the opponent will lose 50% of his pieces. This is the hope and expectation of these drugs - 50% reduction in tumor size. That certainly would give me strength on the board!